Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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