i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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