We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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