Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just invented taco cereal.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
