I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
