Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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