your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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