Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize