I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
