Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
