she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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