i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
