they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So many bounce houses so little time
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
