I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
