Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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