And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
