so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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