so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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