I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We are all done wearing pants today
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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