Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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