bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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