Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
