ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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