I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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