READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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