If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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