The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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