she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
