Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize