she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
