Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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