Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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