didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
