OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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