yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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