Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
