He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
