finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
