dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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