who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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