hotel room ftw
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you had me at cake vodka
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My bed smells like the plague
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
