I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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