Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
