Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize