Screwed.edu
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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