I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
