You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize