I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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