In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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