I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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