4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
