I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
