I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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