Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
