My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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