It's just like the Real World with babies
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
