our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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