Sry I called you an 8
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
