Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
