dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
