im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
