Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
