I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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