I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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